8. Undetectable

Finally, I get an internet card for my laptop. Ha to the school's server. I will not be at bay by you anymore. Don't you just get tired of either getting booted off or the internet being really slow because of all the people on the net? I know I do, so I went out and bought an internet card from AT&T. It is 100 dollars with tax, but a 100 dollar rebate so you actually only pay the tax. The plan is only 60 dollars a month with unlimited access. I am not sure about the speed though. Well, sometimes it might not be as fast as the schools while others it is. SO my relfection on this is I finally did something that made my homework more productive.

However, my title is not necessarily talking about my first paragraph. It really does not bother me, but it still exists or should I say doesnt exist. (haha) The thing that is found to be undetectable is me. I go to class and go back to my room. I do nothing that is fun. You know hanging with my friends, going bowling, or even going to the movies. NOPE! I don't do that. I just sit here trying to find stuff to do on my computer everyday. It gets really really boring. I am in no way crying, complaining, feeling pity, or anything. I am just writing about something. I know that I am not the only one. My advice to you all who are. Do not do that. It may be hard to speak out and talk to people to become friends, but what is there to hurt.

I do however know that I did and will not take my own advice. Sometimes when it comes to other people I get nervous around them. I really don't know why, but other times I am so comfortable and crack jokes all the time. Oh well, Like I stated before the world keeps spinning and doesn't stop. HAHA yeah. Too bad I am not as smart as I used to be, so I can sit here and think about all the possibilities of the endless universe with regardless to time and even past time manipulation. By reflecting on myself in this blog, I think I talked a little different than what I am. I am just in that mood. You know what I mean? I find no real problem not doing anything, but at the same time a think I do. Oh well, maybe your comments will bring that GREAT SUNSHINE into play

7. What direction do I go in?

Well well well. As we come to the beginning of the next week I find myself without a suitable job. I blogged earlier about finally getting a job and how nervous I was. Well, I found that job was not what I was told. It requires too many hours of the week than I actually have, and I get paid way less than minimum wage. Haha There goes trying something new.

So my real question and self reflection is why did I feel directed there? I felt that was too convenient to pass up, so now I am sitting here and thinking why did I get that job. Was it to realize somethings? Honestly, I have realized somethings. I am thankful for that opportunity.

Now, I am unemployed again. I am trying my last strand of energy and connections to get a job. It is just a small job in my home town on the weekends, but it pays more than the last job and will not take up every single free second. Maybe I did the right thing by quitting the other job. Maybe I did not, but the main thing is that I keep up my grades. I must however comment on Dr. Miller's age in attempt for his reaction in class. DR. MILLER IS NO WAY OLDER THAN 30. HE IS LIKE 26 AT THE MOST.

6. Wants vs. Needs

This week I am in major reflection of myself, and I am in really deep thought. Have you ever waited for something, and it killed you every second you waited. I am that way. I am planning on doing something really big. I am stepping out into the big bad world of loans and credit scores. I got a credit card to establish credit because I want to borrow money from either the bank or from the company I am buying from. I really want a motorcycle. I have always wanted one. Now, it will be easier to get one than ever before. I work on days I'm off from school, and I stay at school the other days. This way I am saving a lot of money on gas.

My problem is the common argument between my heart and my brain. This is my passion. I long to work really hard towards something that is just barely possible and will not cause any regrets in the end. By doing this, I feel I will be using parts of my potential. I know that this to some will be a waste, but it is just a step. This is how I will open the gates of my heart and let all of the knowledge, strength, power, and perserverence out. All of these emotions are trapped inside, and the only way to let them out is to do this. It states in Proverbs that a deffered heart of hope is a sick one, but a heart that finds that home is happy with life. It says something like that, so I will feel burdened and bothered until I accomplish this goal.

I realize that I by no means need this material object. Why do I want it? Being human is the answer to that question. It is not possible. In the end, I guess it is up to God's will. I will just pray that it is His will I can get one. By the way, I praise him that He gave me a job. I am so excited start Wednesday, so wish me luck my fellow students.