5. The Expression- a Broken Record

Why I asked? Why? I am joking, but seriously, the friend that I talked about in my last blog has turned a 360. He is back with that girl. Here goes the loop. You know. They will break up again and again and always get back together. That loop that many people get into, but why do they?

My guess is that they get mad and make a dumb mistake. They think they can not stand the other person, but after time goes by, they start hurting. They start craving for the other one. Do you follow the hurt or the mind? We all have contradicted ourselves with these two parts. We hear God in our hearts, so to a point, we should listen to it.

In the end, I understand my friend. I have been there before. You always fight with them, but in the end, you still have feelings. Feelings that will not go away. Habits that die hard. People give in to what is less painful sometimes...... I am not saying what he did is wrong, but it is up to him and his life. Honestly, I would have done the same thing.

My relfection is about the heart and mind. I and we must reflect upon it from time to time. We use one if not both everyday. How do we balance the two. That is up to me for my problems, and you for yours. Meaning, some people might have problems that require more thinking than heart.

4. I hate to say this, but the world keeps spinning!

This world is full of twists and turns of which many we do not like. In our eyes, this circumstance is very important, but to the world it is not even seen. For example, have you noticed after you failed highschool that no one really notices. I mean that when you are feeling so depressed and discouraged, and you are walking down the street. You expect people to understand or go easier on you because you failed. A word to the wise is that not many people will know or even care.

I have a point to the previous paragraph. I know that it sounds dark and depressing. It is a round about way of soothing my friends wounds. This past weekend my good friend, Josh, left his girlfriend. I know, I know it is just a small thing, but just go with it for now. They broke the hard bonds of "love" between each other. It was thought the best then, but do they think that now?

I have experienced this before. I feel sympathy for him. You have one that you think the whole world of. You love them from the pit of your heart and, you never want to let go. Not a minute goes by without a thought of them. Every breathe you take is a breathe for them. You strive on them and for them. You do everything in your power to make them happy regardless what it does to you. Then, you wake up one day and see either what you have become or that they have become something you do not like. Maybe even one day you have a fight and think you would be better alone. In the end, some say that you should just move on, and it will be better. As his friend, I could not tell him that. I told him to look deep inside his heart. I asked him would he be happier with or without her. Only he can make the ultimate decision. He was looking for me to make up his mind, but ole chance would not oblige.

Even though my friend's world stopped that day, the real world keeps spinning, and everything will be O. K. (P.S. I do know that he is still young, and maybe that advice should be for someone older who life could be changed by that relationship to a further extent. That is my reasoning on how to help him at that moment.)

2. Feeling Useless?

Something rather interesting and yet intense happened to me this weekend. It brought a reform in my inner character and strengthened my goals of excellence. While leaving church, one of the older members fell and hit her head on the ground. The impact of her cranium on the floor resulted in her unconsciousness. While I watched two members of our congregation which happened to be nurses check her, I felt limp and rather depressed. I was not capable and did not hold the capacity in my intellect to even attempt to assist her. Maybe in eight or nine years with my degree, I would be able to. What if my lack of assistance would have led to her death? What if I could have changed the fabric of time?

Don't you sometimes just wish that you could just simply travel into the past and prevent certain events from happening? I do, but I fear this will alter the space time continuum which in turn will alter the current reality. Every decision that was made must remain. What if someone prevented imp0rtant historic characters from doing there duties? For example, what if the south won the war? Our fabric of time could be completely different.

In the end, the older lady cleared her exam in the hospital and will be returning home by Wednesday. These events make all of us just imagine and question what we could have done. While contemplating this, I searched within myself and found artifacts of my character. I found more purpose in why I am at this school, I was renewed and strengthened. My replenishment is long lived and thrived upon. I now know what must be done in my life. I know that I must not falter in my quest.

1. The Concept of Me

I am a person who stays in the boundaries of the mind, sitting there and contemplating about all of my problems, but I do not dwell too often because if I do even I in my own mind will not easily escape. I would be lost for an unaccountable amount of time. On the negative side of staying in the intellectual side of myself, I may find it hard to tap into other spheres and concentrations of myself, but that is only an assumption. I have somewhat proven it wrong, but for now, I have only proven a fair portion of it wrong.

Now, I do not talk like this. My mind has been expanded to the format of many subjects. For example, I try to train my mind to be able to think like a biologist for biology and be a great thinker for english. My writing styles have changed throughout my years in high school depending on the situations. I sometimes like to use my emotions from events in my writings, so my good works of art are a part of me. However, I can not always write well even though I took AP english in high school.

My adaptation to college is developing quite nicely. Living in the dorms, eating in the Caf, and having a diversified schedule are different than I am accustomed. This adjustment is rather smooth because this new adventure is quite beneficial. This school will mold each of us. It will develope our characteristics that we have already acquired. However, this establishment can develope us in a negative manner if we let it. In the end when it is time to graduate, we will have grown. Hopefully, we will be more than just a few years older, but we will be more Christ-like.