14. LAST BLOG!!!!!!

This is so my last blog. Aren't you so excited? I am because I am so tired of revising papers and writing stuff. Man, this semester really wasn't that much fun, especially in English. Oh well, there is always next year.

The topic that I want to discuss that reflects who I am is about greeting and goodbye. Now people are saying Happy Holidays just to make everyone happy, and if you say Merry Christmas then you will be infringing on others rights because they do not want to celebrate Christmas. That is a bunch of bananas. I am sorry to say, but it is. It is infringing on the Christian rights to be complained about and fussed at. Nowadays, the minority rule because the majority just doesn't care. They sit there and complain about it. I, on the other hand, stand up and fight for my right to say Merry Christmas.

I work at Starbucks, but what will I say. I will say Merry Christmas. You as a person does not have to listen to what I just said. It is infringing on my right. The problem is that I am at work, and I have to portray the business. I am not sure how to overcome that issue, but I hate it when they you supposedly have to say Happy Holidays.

13. End of School!!!!!

I am so ready for this semester to be over. yeah yeah I know that we all have enjoyed it, but it comes to that time when you are getting burned out. I am pushing to end this year. We only have like two weeks left, and I am so so so excited with a stress on the so. I am ready for Christmas. I hope that all of you will have a great English.

On the other hand, my job is working out very well. However, I worked from 2 til 11 last night. I got home at like 12, so thats why I missed English today. I know that I shouldn't have, but it takes an hour for me to get to school. It was kinda awkward when I saw Miss Furbie at the Caf like right after class was over. She soooo was wondering where I was.

In the end, I found something that is really fun and brings out me. My job is one of the best jobs that I have ever had. For once, they actually take care of their employees, so my self reflection is that I know what I can do. I was ready for something that I can put all of this energy in. Finally, I stress reliever. Ok well I hope that you all enjoy your finally weeks of this semester.

11. Boring topic

I have posted several blogs about a job, and I know that you tire from them. This hopefully will be the last about it. I just interviewed for a job for Starbucks in Madison, and I tell you it was so interesting. She asked me many questions on how I would handle some pretty weird situations. Since I used to work with really really picky people, I easily knew the answer.

I think I got it, and it comes with perks. I get 1 lb. of coffee of my choice a week for free. I also get all drinks for free while I work, and I get 30% off when I am just a customer. That is way cool to me. What? I could just sell the coffee for like 5 dollars, but it will just be given to mi padre. HAHA!

On a serious note, this job and the exercises we did in class has caused a good deal of self reflection. I have found the "me" that I had lost over the summer. He is still inside me somewhere. I know I have changed because of school, etc., but this is different. Like someone posted before, anger can control you if you let it. Sometimes I let it and don't know why. That person that I used to be and still am will bloom once again. Hopefull, very very soon.
Thank you and good luck on this curse or blessing to some called our last major paper. I mean I did really well in my AP class, but in here, it is a little different. I believe it is because I have not found my confidence in myself again. Well, good luck.

10. The Universe

An idea was brought to my attention the other day while in chemistry. Bohr's model of the atom is the same as the plot of our solar system. An tiny tiny atom is the same as a gigantic universe, so what am I proposing? I mean that every little atom is just another solar system within our solar system. We, our planets and us, are the same. We are just an atom compared to something much larger. Our planets are just electrons while the sun is the nucleus, so in a neutral atom we would be compared to Flourine.

I like to think of it as a Carbon atom with a -3 charge. As we know Carbon is found everywhere in our planet. What if we are just part of someone else's periodic table just like the carbon we find is part of our's in our chemistry book. We are a world within a world. This theory or rather thought is very interesting if you think about it. It is similar to the Men in Black movie's theory they always propose at the end of the two movies.

In this theory, our "universe" is just one of many that only make a single GIGANTIC universe. If only I had the time to study the nature of carbon and compare it to us. I bet that I would find many similarities from its properties to our universe besides the fact that Carbon makes up a good portion of ours. Oh well, here is another reflective thought from Chance Byas. I hope that you enjoyed just another thought from my endless universal knowledge vortex that I call my brain. The brain knows a lot more than we are able to bring out onto paper. We lack the knowledge to tap into all of its powers.

9. The opened sky

As I sit, I watch the stars in the sky, twinkling as they do. I watch time as it passes us by, and I wonder why. Each day we get older and older. Before we knew it, we were here at MC. Next blink, we will be in another place, another home with some stranger. I often wonder what will happen to me. They say that we must put our faith in God’s hands, but I still wonder what will happen to me. Will I die young or as a really old man. What will I accomplish in this life. The main thought I think is what is it like when we die.

Many question that we all have, and none can truly answer. I watch time flow over and over all of us. I watch it as it ages us to depletion. What if we did not believe in time? Wouldn’t that let us live longer here on earth? Who knows. The mind is very powerful indeed.

I often wonder about life. About time. About the world. In the end, aren’t we all alone. While I sit outside by the fire under the stars, my stars. I feel rather alone. Like an ant in an ant farm. Just here to be observed by some other thing. Except that I know God is always with me. Besides that, have you ever thought about how significant a person really is compared to the world. We may not mount up to much. It is not who we are but the decisions we make that define us as people.

8. Undetectable

Finally, I get an internet card for my laptop. Ha to the school's server. I will not be at bay by you anymore. Don't you just get tired of either getting booted off or the internet being really slow because of all the people on the net? I know I do, so I went out and bought an internet card from AT&T. It is 100 dollars with tax, but a 100 dollar rebate so you actually only pay the tax. The plan is only 60 dollars a month with unlimited access. I am not sure about the speed though. Well, sometimes it might not be as fast as the schools while others it is. SO my relfection on this is I finally did something that made my homework more productive.

However, my title is not necessarily talking about my first paragraph. It really does not bother me, but it still exists or should I say doesnt exist. (haha) The thing that is found to be undetectable is me. I go to class and go back to my room. I do nothing that is fun. You know hanging with my friends, going bowling, or even going to the movies. NOPE! I don't do that. I just sit here trying to find stuff to do on my computer everyday. It gets really really boring. I am in no way crying, complaining, feeling pity, or anything. I am just writing about something. I know that I am not the only one. My advice to you all who are. Do not do that. It may be hard to speak out and talk to people to become friends, but what is there to hurt.

I do however know that I did and will not take my own advice. Sometimes when it comes to other people I get nervous around them. I really don't know why, but other times I am so comfortable and crack jokes all the time. Oh well, Like I stated before the world keeps spinning and doesn't stop. HAHA yeah. Too bad I am not as smart as I used to be, so I can sit here and think about all the possibilities of the endless universe with regardless to time and even past time manipulation. By reflecting on myself in this blog, I think I talked a little different than what I am. I am just in that mood. You know what I mean? I find no real problem not doing anything, but at the same time a think I do. Oh well, maybe your comments will bring that GREAT SUNSHINE into play

7. What direction do I go in?

Well well well. As we come to the beginning of the next week I find myself without a suitable job. I blogged earlier about finally getting a job and how nervous I was. Well, I found that job was not what I was told. It requires too many hours of the week than I actually have, and I get paid way less than minimum wage. Haha There goes trying something new.

So my real question and self reflection is why did I feel directed there? I felt that was too convenient to pass up, so now I am sitting here and thinking why did I get that job. Was it to realize somethings? Honestly, I have realized somethings. I am thankful for that opportunity.

Now, I am unemployed again. I am trying my last strand of energy and connections to get a job. It is just a small job in my home town on the weekends, but it pays more than the last job and will not take up every single free second. Maybe I did the right thing by quitting the other job. Maybe I did not, but the main thing is that I keep up my grades. I must however comment on Dr. Miller's age in attempt for his reaction in class. DR. MILLER IS NO WAY OLDER THAN 30. HE IS LIKE 26 AT THE MOST.

6. Wants vs. Needs

This week I am in major reflection of myself, and I am in really deep thought. Have you ever waited for something, and it killed you every second you waited. I am that way. I am planning on doing something really big. I am stepping out into the big bad world of loans and credit scores. I got a credit card to establish credit because I want to borrow money from either the bank or from the company I am buying from. I really want a motorcycle. I have always wanted one. Now, it will be easier to get one than ever before. I work on days I'm off from school, and I stay at school the other days. This way I am saving a lot of money on gas.

My problem is the common argument between my heart and my brain. This is my passion. I long to work really hard towards something that is just barely possible and will not cause any regrets in the end. By doing this, I feel I will be using parts of my potential. I know that this to some will be a waste, but it is just a step. This is how I will open the gates of my heart and let all of the knowledge, strength, power, and perserverence out. All of these emotions are trapped inside, and the only way to let them out is to do this. It states in Proverbs that a deffered heart of hope is a sick one, but a heart that finds that home is happy with life. It says something like that, so I will feel burdened and bothered until I accomplish this goal.

I realize that I by no means need this material object. Why do I want it? Being human is the answer to that question. It is not possible. In the end, I guess it is up to God's will. I will just pray that it is His will I can get one. By the way, I praise him that He gave me a job. I am so excited start Wednesday, so wish me luck my fellow students.

5. The Expression- a Broken Record

Why I asked? Why? I am joking, but seriously, the friend that I talked about in my last blog has turned a 360. He is back with that girl. Here goes the loop. You know. They will break up again and again and always get back together. That loop that many people get into, but why do they?

My guess is that they get mad and make a dumb mistake. They think they can not stand the other person, but after time goes by, they start hurting. They start craving for the other one. Do you follow the hurt or the mind? We all have contradicted ourselves with these two parts. We hear God in our hearts, so to a point, we should listen to it.

In the end, I understand my friend. I have been there before. You always fight with them, but in the end, you still have feelings. Feelings that will not go away. Habits that die hard. People give in to what is less painful sometimes...... I am not saying what he did is wrong, but it is up to him and his life. Honestly, I would have done the same thing.

My relfection is about the heart and mind. I and we must reflect upon it from time to time. We use one if not both everyday. How do we balance the two. That is up to me for my problems, and you for yours. Meaning, some people might have problems that require more thinking than heart.

4. I hate to say this, but the world keeps spinning!

This world is full of twists and turns of which many we do not like. In our eyes, this circumstance is very important, but to the world it is not even seen. For example, have you noticed after you failed highschool that no one really notices. I mean that when you are feeling so depressed and discouraged, and you are walking down the street. You expect people to understand or go easier on you because you failed. A word to the wise is that not many people will know or even care.

I have a point to the previous paragraph. I know that it sounds dark and depressing. It is a round about way of soothing my friends wounds. This past weekend my good friend, Josh, left his girlfriend. I know, I know it is just a small thing, but just go with it for now. They broke the hard bonds of "love" between each other. It was thought the best then, but do they think that now?

I have experienced this before. I feel sympathy for him. You have one that you think the whole world of. You love them from the pit of your heart and, you never want to let go. Not a minute goes by without a thought of them. Every breathe you take is a breathe for them. You strive on them and for them. You do everything in your power to make them happy regardless what it does to you. Then, you wake up one day and see either what you have become or that they have become something you do not like. Maybe even one day you have a fight and think you would be better alone. In the end, some say that you should just move on, and it will be better. As his friend, I could not tell him that. I told him to look deep inside his heart. I asked him would he be happier with or without her. Only he can make the ultimate decision. He was looking for me to make up his mind, but ole chance would not oblige.

Even though my friend's world stopped that day, the real world keeps spinning, and everything will be O. K. (P.S. I do know that he is still young, and maybe that advice should be for someone older who life could be changed by that relationship to a further extent. That is my reasoning on how to help him at that moment.)

2. Feeling Useless?

Something rather interesting and yet intense happened to me this weekend. It brought a reform in my inner character and strengthened my goals of excellence. While leaving church, one of the older members fell and hit her head on the ground. The impact of her cranium on the floor resulted in her unconsciousness. While I watched two members of our congregation which happened to be nurses check her, I felt limp and rather depressed. I was not capable and did not hold the capacity in my intellect to even attempt to assist her. Maybe in eight or nine years with my degree, I would be able to. What if my lack of assistance would have led to her death? What if I could have changed the fabric of time?

Don't you sometimes just wish that you could just simply travel into the past and prevent certain events from happening? I do, but I fear this will alter the space time continuum which in turn will alter the current reality. Every decision that was made must remain. What if someone prevented imp0rtant historic characters from doing there duties? For example, what if the south won the war? Our fabric of time could be completely different.

In the end, the older lady cleared her exam in the hospital and will be returning home by Wednesday. These events make all of us just imagine and question what we could have done. While contemplating this, I searched within myself and found artifacts of my character. I found more purpose in why I am at this school, I was renewed and strengthened. My replenishment is long lived and thrived upon. I now know what must be done in my life. I know that I must not falter in my quest.

1. The Concept of Me

I am a person who stays in the boundaries of the mind, sitting there and contemplating about all of my problems, but I do not dwell too often because if I do even I in my own mind will not easily escape. I would be lost for an unaccountable amount of time. On the negative side of staying in the intellectual side of myself, I may find it hard to tap into other spheres and concentrations of myself, but that is only an assumption. I have somewhat proven it wrong, but for now, I have only proven a fair portion of it wrong.

Now, I do not talk like this. My mind has been expanded to the format of many subjects. For example, I try to train my mind to be able to think like a biologist for biology and be a great thinker for english. My writing styles have changed throughout my years in high school depending on the situations. I sometimes like to use my emotions from events in my writings, so my good works of art are a part of me. However, I can not always write well even though I took AP english in high school.

My adaptation to college is developing quite nicely. Living in the dorms, eating in the Caf, and having a diversified schedule are different than I am accustomed. This adjustment is rather smooth because this new adventure is quite beneficial. This school will mold each of us. It will develope our characteristics that we have already acquired. However, this establishment can develope us in a negative manner if we let it. In the end when it is time to graduate, we will have grown. Hopefully, we will be more than just a few years older, but we will be more Christ-like.